Berta's Tap Room

As you may know, my dear grandpa Woody Berta owned a tavern in Ottawa, Illinois (across from the Post Office). While he sold the bar several decades ago, Berta's continues to serve its neighborhood tall beers and burgers on toasted buns. The pool table remains slightly askew...and local legend Woody still makes an occasional appearance.

Many years ago, my grandpa had a small flyer printed by the local Union boys. The front says "Berta's TAP ROOM" and has a drawing of a bubbly martini glass. The lower right corner reads "Air Conditioned for Your Comfort." The inside shows a map of the city limits. But the back...oh, that back! It has one gem of a poem, reprinted below. Note the creative use of the term "atmosphere." I hope you enjoy this.

When you're startin' out some evening
And the night is cold and drear...
I'd suggest you stop at Berta's
For a little "Atmosphere."

Then next morning bright and early
When the "shakes" are gettin' near:
Yeah...you're getting smarter, brother,
Woody fed ya too much beer.

When you're reachin' for the aspirin
'Cause your stomach's feelin' weak,
It's 'cause Chuck was leanin' heavy
On the bottle - so to speak.

Then you face the little woman
With those alibis galore...
When she's finished in the bathroom -
Wipin' Berta's off the floor.

But you're wrong, it isn't whiskey
That's got ya feelin' queer -
Ray just poured an over-dose
Of Berta's "ATMOSPHERE"!!