McDonald's Revisited

Dear Ronald,

I realize my previous posting (see Fruit Buzzard) was a bit harsh. I guess my humble little point is that fast food should be fast (i.e., it shouldn't require assembly). While your plastic bags and containers assure fresh fruit and creamy yogurt, why can't the employees assemble the buzz upon order?

But enough ranting. Truth be told, every once in a great, great, great while, I enjoy McDonald's French fries. I'd like to commend Micky D's for serving some actual health food. But wait…the Fruit Buzz has more calories and more grams of fat than a McDonald's hamburger. Huh? Regardless, not many are going to choose a Fruit Buzz over a super-sized meal. But props to you for taking a step in curbing the fatty epidemic that plagues our nation.

Why are so many research dollars being poured into this larger than life problem? It's called eat in moderation, and don't sit on your ass all day long! Bring healthier foods and nutrition education into the classroom, and make healthier food more affordable and more available in impoverished areas. Oh, and more vegetables. You can always eat more vegetables. Sweet potatoes are unbelievably healthy, for instance.

As for those clowns who sue McDonald's for their obesity problems, don't even get me started. Who on God's green earth would not realize that a few hundred quarter pounders with cheese wouldn't lead to clogged arteries? I think those folks should be given fifty lashes from Grimace, and not a lash less. Anyway, Ronald, do send my regards to the Hamburglar. Stripes are in.

Yours truly,
Jessica

McDonald's Fruit Buzzard

You take some grapes, slice a few apples, throw in some yogurt and a sprinkling of walnuts. Sounds like a nutritious recipe for success, right? Try again. I’m talking about the new McDonald’s Fruit Buzz. Catchy name, sure. But I think the shiny-shoed folks in corporate threw away too many pennies on marketing a flawed product. And I'm not talking bruised apples.

I opened up Vanity Fair to find a bright, four-page foldout ad for this much hyped Fruit Buzz. And then, miracle of miracles, I came across a coupon for a free Buzz. Thought I'd give it a whirl...

I'm hardly lovin' it. Why? For starters, the Buzz requires assembly. The apples and grapes are in one container. The walnuts are in a plastic bag. The yogurt is in yet another container. Am I at a Tupperware party? The apples are nestled in that stage where they're a bit too large to eat in a single bite but are a pain to cut into smaller pieces. And the amount of yogurt is stingy-sized. The overall concoction is too sweet for my taste.

I’m afraid Ronald may have to go back to the drawing board on this one. Until then, I'll continue to make my own yogurt parfaits.