Tweed Bird

What Is Technology Doing to Serendipity?

2009-08-14T18:15:00.004-04:00

In Vacation (the original one, where the family truckster heads to Wally World) Clark Griswold turns to Ellen and says, "Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that."

He’s talking about serendipity—making fortunate discoveries by accident. While plenty of Griswold’s road trip discoveries were less than opportune (e.g., cousin Eddie’s Hamburger Helper), his point is that serendipity is inherent to the journey. And thanks to technology, it’s under attack. Wait...what?

Last week, I read William McKeen's New York Times article (aptly titled “Serendipity”). He believes technology undercuts serendipity. While it leads to more choices and greater efficiency, in his words “there’s an emptiness in finding something quickly.” Because it is so easy for us to find exactly what we are looking for, we lose out on those dear moments of surprise that leap out from the shadows and send our hearts racing in unanticipated directions.

Coincidentally, I saw a coworker’s tweet (thanks @alexesterchung) linking to Steven Berlin Johnson’s reaction to the McKeen article. SBJ’s take? Technology increases serendipity, making it easier to find random information or wander down non-linear paths. He refers to serendipity as “stumbling across something accidentally that is nonetheless of interest to you.” Keep that last bit in mind.

My opinion stands somewhere between those of McKeen and SBJ. Call me out for taking the easy road, but I think technology increases the amount of serendipity while decreasing the potency of it. Technology makes it incredibly easy for me to find content both related to and independent of what I’m looking for. I am a few clicks away from figuring out what to do with the lemon balm growing in my window garden. And perhaps while I’m clicking, I’ll find a tasty recipe for lemon shortbread cookies. Or I’ll go completely off track and (somehow) end up reading about the new G.I. Joe movie. I wouldn’t encounter these while thumbing through The Complete Book of Herbs.

Serendipity, however, implies randomness within the equation. It is accidental in that it doesn’t relate to what you were doing or searching for. Technology makes the “randomness” less random (if more frequent). Sites like StumbleUpon and Pandora, both brilliant, expand my cultural or musical horizons within certain genres, but they don’t dabble far beyond the boundaries of my core interests. That’s not what they’re intended to do. Some see sites like these as supporting homophily—the opposite of serendipity.

While there is an endless amount of fascinating and irreverent content online, completely random searches aren’t often fruitful. That is where they parallel the pre-internet days of yore. Scouring library shelves and rolling up your sleeves in some good, old-fashioned research is a painstaking process, but it makes those fortuitous occurrences all the more enchanting. For more on the internet, homophily, and hopes for a serendipitous digital future, have a look at this Ethan Zuckerman post. And here, my colleague Ida Benedetto recaps Zuckerman's take on serendipity and how we consume and interpret media.

While technology has made the road to serendipity narrower, that road is full of more frequent and more relevant surprises—in that they related to areas you're already interested in. Yet I still love getting ink on my fingers knowing I’ll find articles and stories that will never show up in my RSS feeds.

Come On, Get Happy

2009-05-20T09:34:00.003-04:00

A glass half full will always lead to disputes—unless, perhaps, it is half full of whiskey.

Last month, I was graciously invited by Ian Fitzpatrick to contribute to the Optimist Conspectus. In his words, it’s a “compendium of contemporary optimism, one perspective at a time.” He asks What you are optimistic about? and then looks at commonalities among the answers.

Ian—of Boston’s Almighty—started the project after observing a proliferation of optimism despite global unrest, the economic quagmire and a host of other planetary hazards. Might as well add swine flu to that list. Ian wants to explore where all this hope stems from. When telling me about the project, he referenced the New York Times visualization on presidential inaugural addresses. In a similar way, he is identifying the most frequently used words in the individual perspectives. Here's more info. Ultimately, he plans to turn the findings into a set of data visualizations. A map of optimism. I like the sound of this!

A few other perspectives I particularly enjoyed: Neil Perkin (fingers crossed for the Stone Roses), Matt Moore, Faris Yakob.

My cynical side shines on occasion, but I believe in optimism and the powers of collective optimism. According to my local library, at least 178 others do too—that's how many before me requested Michael J. Fox's new book, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. The (two-part) question on my mind is this: Is optimism greater when times are difficult? And if so, why is it easier to be optimistic when the metaphorical skies are cloudy?

I think this resurgence of hope is rooted in a greater effort in seeking it out...and a greater appreciation when we do find it. I liken this to the upward trend in restaurants offering home style cooking. Just as we find comfort in mom’s casserole, we are eased by those glimmers of hope that tomorrow will be better than today. In the midst of a recession, optimism is to our minds as breakfast food is to our appetites. We appreciate it. We crave it. And we want it served all day long.

There’s no shortage of optimism in our industry. PepperDigital’s Sam Ford, who also contributed to the Conspectus, summed up the why in saying “recessions provide a very helpful culling and pruning process for most industries. Outmoded practices and processes get re-evaluated and phased out, and companies are often forced to innovate or fade away.” If history is any teacher, now is the ideal time to churn out some exquisiteness. As explained in this BusinessWeek article, recessions act as innovation catalysts...they can be a good thing for your company. Consider these two welcome additions to my life: Trader Joe’s and Apple’s first iPod—both arrived in the middle of economic downturns (in 1958 and 2001, respectively).

Why wouldn't we always try to innovate? Throw laziness and disillusionment out the window. Now is the time for the big guns to start acting like start-ups, for the start-ups to keep experimenting, and for the experimenters to enforce greater constraints. As for you? It may just be time to cue up Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” and slide across the floor in your socks. Sans trousers. It’s just that exciting.

When Oatmeal Speaks

2009-04-14T12:05:00.004-04:00

Go humans go. This ad greeted me Monday morning as I exited the subway in DUMBO. It found me in Chinatown too. I was intrigued and a bit startled. I assumed it was part of a larger campaign, but this was the first I’d seen. Go humans go...to me, it had Martian undertones. And that Quaker man! He hasn’t changed much over the years.

I’m keen on oatmeal and was curious to understand what the slogan meant. So I found the site. The only mention of "Go Humans Go" is in the URL and page title. The focus is the Quaker Go Project, a hunger fighting initiative. The usual conversation starters – YouTube, Facebook, Flickr and Twitter – are there, though they sit at the bottom of the page, like neglected banana candies. Regardless, I wanted to see what Quaker had to say, so I went to Twitter to follow @QuakerTalk, whose bio reads:

Go Humans Go!
Responses monitored and updated by Quaker’s PR team & oatmeal fans!

Including “fans” seems a little hokey in an otherwise transparent bio. Don’t front. But anyway...here’s the conversation, word for word:

QuakerTalk – Monday, 12:07pm
@QuakerTalk: Kicking off the week with a hot bowl of Quaker Oats

My reply – Monday, 1:48pm
@jeccaberta: @QuakerTalk starting my week with oats too! mccann's or quaker...decision time.

QuakerTalk’s response – Monday, 2:03pm
@QuakerTalk: @jeccaberta Definitely Quaker! Have a great week :)

(I chose McCann’s but didn’t tell them)

Me, attempting to start a new conversation – Monday, 2:41pm
@jeccaberta: @QuakerTalk i miss the wilford brimley oatmeal commercials of yesteryear.

(No response from @QuakerTalk. Disappointment.)

Me, attempting to start convo #3 – Tuesday, 3:33pm
@jeccaberta: @QuakerTalk question...are steel cut oats more nutritious than instant?

QuakerTalk’s Reply – Tuesday, 4:49pm
@QuakerTalk: @jeccaberta: the nutritionals are the same, but they do offer a heartier texture and a rich nutty taste

I enjoyed this one-on-one dialogue, but that’s not what Twitter is good at or really designed for. So…what unique value can a brand offer on Twitter? I’ve been looking at @QuakerTalk’s tweets over the past couple weeks. Some are upbeat thoughts (“Gearing up for a great Friday – Go humans go!”), others promote their hunger fighting efforts (“Submit a Quaker Go Grant and get involved in your community today! Check out the details here http://bit.ly/S55MW”). I’d like to see more stuff like that, especially if they can use Twitter to galvanize support. It’ll also provide some context for their slogan.

But in terms of engagement, I think Quaker’s Twitter presence would be way more effective if they spoke in a unique voice, say...oh, that of a Quaker man from the 1800s? Think about it. His truth-dispensing tweets could be mighty entertaining. What other company has as its spokesman a hugely recognizable fellow in Quaker attire? That alone leaves plenty to talk about. Why hasn’t he changed with the times? I’d like to hear him answer.

Brands can put all the energy they want into having a friendly social media presence. But until there is a well-defined, entertaining personality behind the (puritan) mask, bonafide or outstanding conversations will be hard to find.

20 Pecha Kuchin' Seconds

2009-03-26T16:34:00.004-04:00

I once saw a man do 20 back flips in 20 seconds. Granted this was on vimeo, but still...it was damn exhausting to watch. What if he tried to do 19 more equally amazing tricks? In a row? That’s just ridiculous. And so not humble.

I had my first Pecha Kucha experience on Monday night. The term loosely translates to “chit-chat,” though when I walked into the venue (Le Poisson Rouge), chit-chat took the form of shouting over live music. Good thing I brought my glow sticks to navigate through the crowd.

So Pecha Kucha is fun! I want to try it sometime. I like any form of storytelling that has restraints on what you can do – whether that’s through visuals, time, or word choice (like last month’s David Bowie love story).

In case you’re not familiar with Pecha Kucha, the formula is quite simple:
X = 20 slides + 20 seconds/slide

Six minutes and forty seconds – that’s all you get to cover 20 slides. The X variable here is defined as a particularly innovative and/or artistic person, like: Dickson Despommier (heck yes, vertical farming), DJ Spooky, Tina Roth Eisenberg (aka swissmiss) and Jonathan Harris, who gave me a newfound respect for whale hunting and the accompanying blubber. Good stuff.

If I could describe a solid Pecha Kucha presentation in one word, it might be: HUMILITY. The presentations I was drawn to didn’t shove 20 back flips into each slide. They taught me something new, without cramming each slide to the brim. They said, “Hey, follow this story,” not “Hey, memorize these chronicles.” That’s easier said than done, especially when you’re talking about something you’re so passionate about.

What about Kucha Pecha? Rules in reverse: Slides can display only words, no pictures. Speakers must rely on music and/or performance art to convey their point. Sounds very silly, actually…like an elaborate game of charades.

Please...Have a Seat

2009-03-19T16:23:00.002-04:00

I just bought my first sofa. A Victorian gem, it dates from the 1800s - carved walnut trim, textured velvet upholstery, button tufted back, woo-wee.

A haiku is in order:

Lovingly restored,
You give teatime new meaning,
Welcome home, mauve dream.

Branding Disrupted

2009-03-17T12:47:00.006-04:00

On Friday I had the pleasure of attending a CreativeMornings session – a monthly meet-up organized by Tina Roth Eisenberg (swissmiss) and Carl Collins. This one, conveniently located in 45 Main by HUGE, (thanks for the tasty breakfast, neighbors!) featured Armin Vit, a man well-versed in design and its relationship to branding.

If I were to condense his thoughts into one point, it would be this: Reality gets in the way of branding. It muddles the way you experience and think about the companies, products, even logos that marketers work so hard to crystallize in your precious mind.

Reality is unavoidable (and, well, essential). In terms of brands, my favorite part of Vit’s presentation had to do with the Pepperidge Farm Soft Baked Chocolate Chunk Dark Chocolate cookie. In short, his wife loves this treat, as did he until the day he opened up a bag to find major skimping on the chocolate chunks. The bittersweet goods were nearly absent. (I wonder if this was an economic move by Pepperidge Farm to leave no scrap of batter unused?)

His example was simple and funny. But...it wasn’t about branding. It was about a flawed product. Branding can do little to fix that. It’ll only draw attention to it. On the other hand, if you have a solid product and kickass branding to boot, the disconnect that reality presents won’t do much detriment to the product. Example: the Target brand projects an image of bliss and joy emblazoned in red bullseyes. A lot of Target stores are a far cry from the clean, sunshine-filled oasis seen in ads. But Target is still crazy popular (and for good reason).

I consider branding to be perceived reality. As long as there are crowded store lines, glum employees, and an elephant of a recession, reality won’t parallel branding. So sometimes you’ll get a cookie lacking in chocolate. Worse yet, there are tastier cookies out there that you don’t even know about, thanks to uninspired marketing efforts.

A Brief, Imagined Love Affair: David Bowie, Will You Be My Valentine?

2009-02-14T14:22:00.004-05:00

I wrote this valentine by splicing and rearranging David Bowie's spacey, heartfelt phrases. The words are his, the story is mine. Happy Val's Day.

I just met the wrong guy. Oh man!
Asked for his name: Ziggy.
Ziggy really sang jammin’ good.
Insane sunshine, his soul shines.
Wonder if he’ll ever know how I’ll wish upon, wish upon, day upon day…

Just keep cool.

Dear Ziggy, far above the moon, I’ll run with you.
Mummy is yelling “no,” but I’ll stick with you baby for a thousand years.
Ooo, your face. Your consolations. Your pretty cranium.
Fall into my arms and tremble like a flower.
Look out world, you know I’ve got mine.

Just keep cool. I just keep cool.

Dear Ziggy, I’m looking for a ride on top of Manhattan.
There’s gonna be space to boogie up there.
We like dancing and we look divine.
Let’s sway on top of Manhattan, you and me.
We don’t give a damn. Whop, whop, whop.

Real cool. I just keep cool.

Ziggy, here we are at the center of it all.
Fighting in the dance hall in the dark.
You want more and you want it fast.
You’ve tried so hard to fly in the fog.
But I guess I’m feeling very still.

Walk tall, keep cool.

Ziggy…You could look into my eyes, you know.
Your hands ache in pain. Sweet hands.
I wish I was smarter. Unskilled hands.
The tears on the face stumbled to cry.
It’s so hard for us to really be.

Never look back, walk tall.

Now here this, Ziggy.
You gotta get smart.
A crooked smile. Where’s your shame?
Them toffees…sweetly reminiscent, something mother used to bake.
Kissing all the ladies. Don’t break my heart.

Never look back, act fine.

Dear Ziggy, I got so lost on my own.
I don’t want to leave.
Buy a drink for me, we’ll dance the blues.
There’s only one way to linger on.
Hot tramp, I love you so!

p.s. Ziggy plays my song in tune.
Ain’t that close to love?

Fun with Vending Machines: Part 2

2009-01-26T10:14:00.006-05:00

I am now for sale as a tasty vending machine snack. $3.00 is all you need...dollars and coins are accepted.

Fun with Vending Machines: Part 1

2009-01-23T23:28:00.004-05:00

One of these things is not like the other things.

A White Christmas

2008-12-09T22:58:00.001-05:00

Dear friends,

Won't you please enjoy this year's holiday greeting, which masquerades as an anti-drug public service annoucement. Jingle bells!

America Is Listening

2008-11-06T15:15:00.002-05:00

Friends: To achieve the full experience, please listen to this song while (or after) reading.

Election night. Hot damn. What we lived through on Tuesday, the 4th of November, 2008, will go down as one of the defining events in America’s storied history.

The year is 1967. Blacks have only recently been given the right to vote. WTF. James Brown releases “America Is My Home (Part One).” The optimism and unrelenting love for his country shine through, despite all the shit we’ve gotten wrong.

I have never felt prouder to be an American than I did two nights ago at 11pm, when Barack Obama surpassed that magic number of 270 electoral votes. CNN called it. So did Jon Stewart. Everyone around me at Bell House erupted in cheers. We hugged. We cried. We screamed the way children do for ice cream. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

Digital communication fueled the fire that brought Obama to the people. On election day itself, we witnessed donated Facebook statuses, the Will.i.am hologram, pie charts galore and a jumbotron display of emotions from Chicago’s Grant Park to LA to Kenya.

Aided by tweets and texts that night, we took our celebrating to the streets – Dekalb and Carlton (outside of Madiba), to be exact. BrooklynVegan and flickr offered proof that similar showdowns were happening across NYC...and the nation…and the world.

Technology no doubt enhances real world happenings. But nothing trumps bonafide human connections. A few things I never want to forget about that night:
- Feeling like I was part of something monumental.
- Clapping as impromptu drummers played maracas, pots and pans.
- Singing with a cover band performing Weezer’s entire Blue album.
- Riding ever so briefly on the back of a garbage truck.
- High-fiving cab drivers as they tried to make it through the crowds.
- Drinking champagne in the streets.
- Embracing strangers.

For the first time in a long time, we are listening. Why? Because we finally have a leader we believe in. This alone is proof that the American dream is alive. Change has come, Sam Cooke. Hell yes.

p.s. Much love to my home state of Wisconsin for turning an impressive 59 out of 72 counties a brilliant shade of blue.

Berta's Tap Room

2008-10-20T21:13:00.004-04:00

As you may know, my dear grandpa Woody Berta owned a tavern in Ottawa, Illinois (across from the Post Office). While he sold the bar several decades ago, Berta's continues to serve its neighborhood tall beers and burgers on toasted buns. The pool table remains slightly askew...and local legend Woody still makes an occasional appearance.

Many years ago, my grandpa had a small flyer printed by the local Union boys. The front says "Berta's TAP ROOM" and has a drawing of a bubbly martini glass. The lower right corner reads "Air Conditioned for Your Comfort." The inside shows a map of the city limits. But the back...oh, that back! It has one gem of a poem, reprinted below. Note the creative use of the term "atmosphere." I hope you enjoy this.

When you're startin' out some evening
And the night is cold and drear...
I'd suggest you stop at Berta's
For a little "Atmosphere."

Then next morning bright and early
When the "shakes" are gettin' near:
Yeah...you're getting smarter, brother,
Woody fed ya too much beer.

When you're reachin' for the aspirin
'Cause your stomach's feelin' weak,
It's 'cause Chuck was leanin' heavy
On the bottle - so to speak.

Then you face the little woman
With those alibis galore...
When she's finished in the bathroom -
Wipin' Berta's off the floor.

But you're wrong, it isn't whiskey
That's got ya feelin' queer -
Ray just poured an over-dose
Of Berta's "ATMOSPHERE"!!

Yes, You Can.

2008-10-08T12:07:00.002-04:00

Politics...A fine example of the power shift from marketer to you, the consumer. Digital communication platforms have made it exponentially easier to express your voice. Being famous helps. Celebrities and artists are certainly taking cues from the digital world to share their views.

You’ve no doubt heard the “Yes We Can” song by will.i.am. I love it...so full of hope. It also makes me glad to see Kareem Abdul Jabar back in front of the camera. His performance in Airplane(!) was dynamite.

Sarah Silverman has an interesting angle with her Great Schlep campaign. She’s recruiting Jewish youth to reach out to their grandparents in that dicey sunshine state we call Florida.

But let’s say you’re not famous. You can post a piece of sh*t YouTube ranting vid that will get seen by a handful of people, mostly friends. But if you instead say something smart (or unique), and you say it in a creative way, your voice will be heard (witness the crush-heavy tune by Obama Girl).

Something to Think About: Who are your grandparents voting for? Seriously. We hear so much talk of the youth vote. What about the geriatric vote? Unless marketers are pushing Depends or meds, they aren’t interested in the silver-haired generation. They don’t fall into many core demographics. So why not call your grandma up right now. She’ll be happy to hear from you, and you may just help decide the fate of our country. Fancy that.

Click Gets It

2008-10-03T13:04:00.003-04:00

Ad Week didn’t get it. Click does. Click gets that advertising is, in Brooklyn Brother Paul Parton’s words, disposable. I went to the Click Conference on Wednesday to listen to a digitally-savvy crew talk about the incredibly smart ways they're bringing renewed vigor to digital communications. Topics ranged from social media to education to SoDA. Tina Roth Eisenberg delivered some nice live blog coverage on Swiss Miss. So rather than providing a broad recap of the similar and disparate viewpoints, I think a better use of our time would be for me to describe my three favorite takeaways:

1. UTILIZE CAPITALISM: View Clients as Business Partners

James Cooper from Another Anomaly covered this point with some dapper words. If you read my Ad Week rant last week on Big Spaceship's Think blog, you’d know I was disappointed that the focus was on branded content (sigh). James Cooper gets it. He knows that it is loads more effective and imaginative to create original content within and for a brand. Anomaly's work on Converse is an ideal example. Exhibit A: My Drive Thru, the sneaker-tapping song featuring musically-diverse artists Pharrell, Santogold and Julian Casablancas, Exhibit B: a Spelling Bee that makes ingenious use of Google, Exhibit C: A sprinkling of irreverent humor, with neighboring sites like Le Tour De Franks and Tiny Hollywood.

2. FOLLOW YOUR PASSION: Bizarre Is Good

David Art Wales, who heads up the Ministry of Culture, is my new favorite person. His presentation stood out for a number of reasons (let’s see…his awesome mom is named Mimi, he was wearing suspenders, and he told a Snoop Dogg joke when he ran into technical difficulties). So David befriended a harp player on a cruise. She told him about an old Welsh secret society called the Prudent Boozers. He ran with it and is on a mission to bring them back as a force to be reckoned with. This “wildly moderate” drinking society preaches a simple message:
Savor the first
Sip the second
Nurse the third (this is key!)
Skip the fourth

All the fun, without the hangover or the embarrassing photos. The PB campaign is highly entertaining. It also represents an entirely new take on drinking responsibly…one that shuns finger wagging and replaces it with coveted "members only" badges. Bravo.

3. LET CREATIVITY BREATHE: Listen and Learn

This final lesson comes from Big Spaceship’s Michael Lebowitz. Having grown tired of delivering similar versions of the same presentation, Michael shook things up a bit. Instead of talking about the work we create, he discussed our culture and how we innovate. Here's the full deck. That’s a lot more interesting than seeing a polished portfolio, right? Yes. So below is a recap of the ways we let creativity breathe. It’s an amalgamation of playing and tinkering, discussing and learning, and - most importantly - giving everyone the opportunity to speak up. We’d all be better off if we listened more than we spoke (right Askwith and Kosoy? I kid).

Creating an Ethos of Innovation:
1. Recognize that everyone is creative.
2. Don’t hire assholes…no matter how talented they are.
3. Hire to be the dumbest person in the room (surround yourself with smart people).
4. Give autonomy.
5. Experiment constantly.
6. Focus on your culture (i.e., fun begets quality).
7. Stay flat (see point 4).
8. Small is good (but it’s hard not to grow).

I learned that even among uber creative, indie digital agencies, the philosophy behind our creative chops is rather unique. That is a damn good feeling. Thanks to all the fine folks who made Click such a success.

Big Spaceship Adds to Staff

2008-09-03T16:18:00.006-04:00

We like to have fun at Big Spaceship – both during and in between all of the work. We find that a creative atmosphere leads to better ideas. Foosball and Guitar Hero help, but for a while now we’ve been asking our fearless leader Michael for a ping pong table.

He had two (admittedly justifiable) concerns that prevented our wish from being granted:
1. Space. We have plenty of that in the green screen room, but we use it for projects.
2. Noise. Ping Pong players can get rather LOUD.

I approached this project as we do all others ...by thinking strategically. I crafted an implementation plan and job application written from the viewpoint of a one Mr. Ping Pong Ball.

He was qualified, intelligent and, yes, tactical. His proposal outlined his many benefits and detailed how he would overcome the barriers voiced by the boss.

Ping Pong Ball tackled the chief obstacles head-on, beginning with space.

As for noise, he recommended we build a noise meter to keep the shouts and cheers in check.

The letter of recommendation from Nolan Bushnell certainly didn’t harm his chances.

I’m happy to say that the proposal met with success. Ping Pong Ball will soon arrive at Big Spaceship, alongside his accoutrements (in the form of paddles and a 9x5’ table). As long as folks abide by the rules, we’ll get along just fine. I’m very much looking forward to this fellow joining our crew.

Telescopic Text

2008-09-02T10:27:00.000-04:00

He made tea. This morning I stumbled upon a site known simply as Telescopic Text.

Being a tea drinker myself, I clicked on one of the three words that make up the only sentence on the site: I made tea. And then…more words appeared. A tale of tea brewing began to take shape. If a word was shaded in gray, clicking on it revealed more text (and more gray). But even without clicking on all of the shaded areas, the story still made sense – it was simply the condensed version. I. made. tea.

I like this technique and wonder if it would work for more complicated subject matter. In a way, it improves upon the standard formula of an abstract followed by a click-to for the full article. What if I only want to learn about the type of tea and what was served with it? What if I’m just interested in the process of steeping? It’s a simple format, but I see potential for this as a storytelling mechanism.

Sharing Neon

2008-08-25T21:48:00.008-04:00

Stumbled onto this and liked what I saw. Sometimes we just need a reminder, right?

Show, Don't Tell

2008-08-04T14:51:00.002-04:00

We’ve all heard the phrase “show, don’t tell.” In fact, we here at Big Spaceship live by those three words. To tell is to inform. But to show is to wow. German mathematician Joseph Furtenbach proved this quite simply:

The year was 1627. Furtenbach wanted to prove Galileo’s theory that the earth spun on a fixed axis. Rather than presenting the people with a 500-page essay, he loaded a cannon. After firing a cannon ball straight into the sky, he climbed on top of the cannon’s muzzle.

If Galileo knew what he was talking about, the cannon ball would return to the earth at a point west of the cannon, while the earth would rotate east. If, on the other hand, Galileo’s theory was wrong, it was curtains for Furtenbach.

The ball soared into the sky. The crowd gasped – some unable to watch aside from the occasional peek. Furtenbach sat atop the cannon and smiled, waiting for the ball to descend.

POW. The thud was followed by an eerie silence. Furtenbach’s head was intact. Just west of him, the earth revealed an impressive dent. Galileo was right. He had always been right…but now people believed him.

This has been another great moment in the history “show, don’t tell.”

(The above was paraphrased from Erik Larson’s Isaac’s Storm.)

A Journey Retold

2008-07-25T10:05:00.002-04:00

Journey to the West. Four-hundred and some years later, this classic piece of Chinese literature has been presented in a new light. A Buddhist monk makes his pilgrimage to India to get his hands on some quite righteous spiritual scriptures. A few disciples, including a badass monkey, help him along the way.

I’m giving an oh, so brief synopsis of a book comprised of 100 chapters. But the BBC told the story in an equally simple way (here’s a bit on how they did it). In promoting their coverage of the upcoming Beijing Olympics, they turned the tale into a two-minute gem, ending - after some fabulous Olympic-style leaps, twists and escapes - with the lighting of the mighty torch. The network partnered with fellow Englishmen Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn. No strangers to collaboration, they're the brains behind Gorillaz and also helped co-create the opera Monkey: Journey to the West - this looks like it rocks, by the way. And in Albarn's case, let's not forget about the amazing music of Brit supergroup The Good, the Bad and the Queen.

The visuals are based off of Monkey (or Monkey Magic!), a popular 1970s animated series. Maybe that choice was rooted in nostalgia. Regardless, it's much more interesting than the traditional glorified athlete promo. I think it’s a lovely retelling of an age-old story. Condensed, yes, but attention spans are not what they used to be. Is that because of digital platforms? I'll answer that when I have more time (to concentrate on the question). First, I need to get Monkey on my mobile.

Roll Computer

2008-07-16T11:59:00.001-04:00

Radiohead’s new video for “House of Cards” uses no lights and no cameras. It was created with some dope real-time 3D recording technologies. They captured these 3D images using Geometric Informatics and two LIDAR (Light Detection and Ranging) scanners. One scanner was used for detailed information (like the Thom Yorke close-ups). It rotated 360 degrees and had 64 rotating lasers. The other was designed to pick up much wider geographic images, including the Florida terrain you see. No surprise that it took weeks to process the massive amount of raw data. Here’s more on how it was made.

The production crew (composed by and large of engineers) distorted some of the data with small bits of mirror. They also experimented with water and feathers. Added bonus: You can manipulate the video and download data to create your own visualizations. Nice.

Director James Frost said the thinking behind this project was to create a real feeling through something that was computer generated. It’s a reflection of our data driven society.

Radiohead rocks. (Special thanks to S.W. Taffy for the assistance embedding the video!)

I Survived the Viewing of a Japanese Game Show

2008-06-25T00:29:00.005-04:00

I have not seen the original Japanese version of "I Survived a Japanese Game Show," but I imagine it is more entertaining than the show that premiered on ABC tonight. Don't get me wrong...there were definite funny moments (the angry mama-san, the tambourine-banging audience, and the mochi game cartoon demo come to mind), but I think the translation loses something. Tossing American game show contestants into that atmosphere makes it both slightly annoying and - in an ironic way - less absurd. Coincidentally, is the game show host the same man who appears in Lost in Translation? I think so.

Tonight, the stereotype of the ugly American was broadcast to folks across the nation. Loud, ignorant and judgmental were my first impressions of this motley crew. God I hope reality TV isn’t full of too much reality. Television as a byproduct and reflection of our culture sometimes makes me want to crawl under a rug.

Out in space a million miles away, we're a singular little planet. Doesn't it make you wonder how our cultures can be so divergent? I'm tired.

Chocolate + Milk

2008-05-17T18:04:00.004-04:00

Milk flavoring straws. Seriously...? I saw this at the drug store the other day, and 99 cents later, the 4-pack was mine.

It's called Sipahh. The deal is, the plastic straw is full of chocolate powdery beads (other flavors, like strawberry, are available). It has a slotted opening at each end, small enough so that the beads won't pass through, but of course liquid will.

You put your straw into a glass of milk and sip. Then, I presume, you say ahh! Just like that, you're drinking chocolate milk.

I didn't say ahh. It was too sweet for my liking. Sugar is the number one ingredient, and there are some fake sweeteners as well. I love that the packaging reads: A Sipahh straw with milk* is a good source of calcium and vitamins A & D. Hey Sipahh, guess what else is full of calcium and vitamins when mixed with milk: just about anything, including rocks.

It's sort of a novel idea. But I'm sticking to little orphan Annie and my nutricious, delicious, rich and chocolaty Ovaltine! No straw required.

Eggs and Bacon

2008-05-14T10:29:00.006-04:00

Which came first—the chicken or the egg? The correct answer might just be the egg cup. Images of egg cups were found in Turkish mosaics dating back to 3 AD. Who knew…

I recently picked up the dandy one pictured here. I’m not too big on boiled eggs, though maybe this will change my perspective. I bought it as more of an accessory for my orange-accented kitchen. It did get me thinking about the origin of egg cups…So I dug up a few interesting bits of information that eventually led to a scrambled game of six degrees of separation:

1. The first egg cups were made of wood, though silver ones appeared around the same time. These days you can find them made of porcelain, glass and a host of other materials.
2. During the19th century, silver egg cups were often gilded inside so that the sulphur from the egg did not stain them. A century earlier, France’s King Louis XV—a fan of the egg cup—helped drive its popularity. Rumor was he could decapitate an egg’s “head” with a single stroke.
3. Opposite the head is the base, often called the “footie,” and it of course acts to stabilize the cup.
4. Perhaps because of the sturdy footie, the Sazerac, one of the world’s oldest cocktails (invented in a New Orleans apothecary), was originally served in an egg cup, or a “coquetier.” Side note: It was once thought the term “cocktail” derived from a mispronunciation of this French word. However, that is not the case.
5. In Cocktail, the ‘80s classic, Tom Cruise mixed up several liquid concoctions (though he did not serve them in egg cups).
6. A few years later, Tom Cruise starred in A Few Good Men with none other than Kevin Bacon.

And there you have it.

The Underground

2008-02-17T16:11:00.006-05:00

Caseophiles, step right this way...Murray's Cheese now offers cave tours! I went on one yesterday.

There are four caves below ground, each with different aging processes and types of cheeses. It was pretty cool (literally...I'm glad I had my scarf with me!). We learned all about mold and bacteria and the affinor's job as both artist and scientist. The aging process is fairly complex, though at times it is similar to what old people go through...think liver spots and sensitive skin masking a wise, complex interior.

Quite interesting, I'd recommend it. The cost is $10 for a 30-minute tour, and this includes a couple of samples.

On the way out, I purchased a bag of real Wisconsin cheese curds and had two of my fellow cave tour friends over for cheese and Belgian beer. This turned out to be the perfect way to spend the third Saturday of the month (which is when the tours take place).

Details at Murray's Cheese

Arcade Fire: Another Spooky Web Video

2008-01-28T22:26:00.000-05:00

First off, thanks to Creativity mag for bringing this one to my attention. Arcade Fire is pushing
Black Mirror as the next big tune off of Neon Bible, and I likes how they're going about it.

They've created a dark and odd video that let's you play the dark and odd DJ, hovering behind the turntables. You can't sample Bootsy Collins bass lines over this track, but the site does give you the power to remix it. Take away or add certain instruments and vocals, all by pressing numbers 1-6 on your keyboard. And are those synchronize swimming ninjas I see towards the end of the song? Fantastic (and oh, how gracefully they dance when only keys 4 and 6 are active).

You've probably already seen the puppetry fun behind the
Neon Bible video site, which they released a few months ago. If you haven't, I won't spoil anything. But have a look. It's such a lovely song to begin with, made all the lovelier by magically writing the lyrics in smoke.

Bonus points for the URL jumbles...neon bible = beonlineb, black mirror = rorrimkcalb (I would have gone with "clamor brrik" myself). Keep up the fantastic work, Arcade Fire!

Mr. Proverb and Cliché Reciter

2008-01-20T23:12:00.000-05:00

In honor of my friend and former boss KR – a real man of genius – below is my take on DDB’s Bud Light jingles. Happy Birthday KR. This one’s for you (but remember, it’s not about you).

Cue the ballad

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius.

[Background vocals: Real Men of Genius]

Today we salute you, Mr. Proverb and Cliché Reciter.

[BV: Mr. Proverb and Cliché Reciter]

You’ve got a way with words, even if they’re not your own.
What’s that you say? A rolling stone gathers no moss? How true indeed.

[BV: So very true]

Like an endless supply of fortune cookies, you’ve got an answer for everything. You can have your cake and eat it too. But what good is you cake if you can’t eat it?

[BV: That cake is tasty]

Sure, curiosity killed the cat. But did it ever so much as harm the people?

[BV: I ain’t no cat]

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, man of borrowed expressions.
Because when life throws lemons, you may not make lemonade, but you’ll tell others to.

[BV: Mr. Proverb and Cliché Reciter]

Bud Light Beer. Anheuser-Busch. St. Louis, Missouri.

A New Year, A New List

2008-01-02T15:04:00.000-05:00

You’ve all heard that we are more likely to achieve our new year’s resolutions if we write them down. That said, I WILL stumble onto a large sum of money in a leather suitcase at the end of a dark, though not forbidding, alley.

Joking. Without further ado...

1. I will go on a fantastic adventure in 2008 – maybe to Ireland or Alaska or Mexico City. Destination TBD.
2. I will eat plain yogurt more often, adding my own fruit in place of “poser” fruits and sweet imposters like aspartame.
3. I will celebrate the Ides of March like never before.
4. I will visit a cranberry bog and/or a cheese factory.
5. I will make s'mores in the fireplace at Employees Only.

Spare Mikey the Details

2007-11-14T23:24:00.000-05:00

Creating a great ad – one that is captivating, memorable and on strategy – is incredibly difficult. Ruining it is a cinch. Consider the classic line from the "Mikey" Life Cereal commercial, “He likes it.” Now, change that to “He likes the wholesome taste and nutritional value of it.” How quickly that simple, nostalgic phrase plummets into a cereal bowl full of forgettable mush.

I came across a Business Week article that argued for the side of “less is more” in terms of detail in advertising. In short, no matter how important your message is, consumers won’t tune in if it’s BORING. Information is of course imperative, but ads should focus on drawing people in, not spoon-feeding them.

Effective advertising often conveys a message in a roundabout way. Not by defining an issue, but by illustrating it. Not by reciting a fact sheet, but by telling a story. Not by listing the ingredients of a product, but by showing you how damn delicious that product is. Not by...you get my point.

Aside from the chiefly dull world of pharmaceutical advertising, the information deemed essential in any given ad is often up for debate. Packing it in is a poor decision. Consumers are bombarded with ads that for the most part they would prefer to avoid. Successful messaging is about quality, not quantity (particularly in the arena of donated media, Ad Council friends!).

But many issues and products are more complex and abstract than cereal. Accordingly, quantity – in terms of information – is certainly a factor when tackling issues like autism, global warming or financial literacy. Such topics are not easily summarized. Herein likes the conundrum. Just how do we communicate these immense matters in a :30 ad? Or on a transit shelter? Some say the more information we can squeeze in, the better. Wrong people, we’ve got to keep it snappy!

Rather than cramming an ad chockfull of information, we need to convey a single message creative and powerful enough to grab consumers’ attention. If our target takes note of the issue (and hopefully seeks further information on it), then we have done our job. This is not to say details are trivial - quite the opposite. They are just better suited for websites, fulfillment brochures, and the like.

The article that inspired this one opened with Voltaire’s words, “The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.” No matter the topic, we are better off keeping the message simple yet compelling if we want to make an impact. I will leave you with a quote from legendary ad man Bill Bernbach – “There is practically nothing that is not capable of boring us.”

Tea Time at the Movies

2007-10-21T19:19:00.000-04:00

This month’s movie recommendation: The Darjeeling Limited. Wes Anderson’s latest (and possibly greatest – at least in terms of initial viewings) is the tale of three brothers journeying through India. They seek healing, their mom and a good high. It is sibling rivalry meets sweet lime meets brotherly love...in that order. And much of this takes place inside a tiny train compartment.

In Francis, Peter and Jack (played by Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman, respectively), Mr. Anderson has created three wonderfully peculiar gentlemen, their personalities as contrasting as their looks. They have downfalls. They say nasty things. They brawl. That said, they are benevolent and exceedingly likable. Even their enlightened but distant and eyeliner-heavy mother (Anjelica Huston), demonstrates her compassion. Such qualities of redemption carry through in all of Wes Anderson’s films, as do remarkably well-chosen soundtracks.

I think that’s really the basis of the Wes Anderson formula:
A handful of wry characters (including at least one sad clown) + Big Hearts + Fabulous Music (Sixties or foreign tunes to be at least one-third of the selections) + Detailed Sets +/- Muted or Monochromatic Color Schemes = Endearing, Lovely, Hilarious Movies. Voila!

I haven’t been to India. The scenery in the film is breathtaking. Though one thing that stood out to me and others was the lack of crowds. It made the country appear for the most part desolate. I imagine this was intentional. Wes Anderson doesn’t strike me as a happenstance sort of moviemaker. By the way...during the outdoor peacock feather ceremony, was anyone else wondering what the Bose speaker was plugged into?

Seeing the semi-prequel Hotel Chevalier in advance is recommended though not necessary. It certainly makes the ending more charming. What is necessary? Tea, of course. My friends and I got hopped up on a pot of darjeeling at Sympathy for the Kettle before seeing the movie. Oh, and tea cakes are essential as well. I made some lemon sponge tea cakes and smuggled them into the theatre. They proved both a treat tastier than Milk Duds and a way to befriend strangers seated next to us. One of them in turn gave me a “smile” card promoting Random Acts of Kindness. Take that, Blue Meanies!

In closing, I read that Wes Anderson is directing some AT&T ads. I haven’t seen the work yet but would love for him to take on a PSA. One of my fave Ad Council spots at present is for our Inspiring Invention (bing!) campaign. It has Wes Anderson qualities to it - the little girl is dynamite deadpan, and the invention sounds a bit like Owen Wilson. See for yourself...Follow this link and click on Bandage Puller. Enjoy.

Brand Loyalty: Mind Over Matter

2007-07-28T22:25:00.000-04:00

What’s in a name? Everything, if you ask a brand manager. Next to all those established brand name products lining the supermarket shelves are copycats vying for your attention from the cheap seats. Woolite or Wool Wash? Kleenex or facial tissue? Cheerios or Tasty O’s? The examples are endless.

While I pour a glass of milk, let’s consider two brands of chocolate chip cookies – The classic Chips Ahoy and the lesser-known Chiparrific. Both are crisp cookies full of chocolate chips. Both are sold in blue packaging. But you give me a taste test, and I will tell you the Chips Ahoy cookie tastes better, hands down.

I wonder, would a blind taste test yield the same results? Could it be that my subconscious cajoles my taste buds into choosing the Chips Ahoy brand, due to its evocative scrumptiousness? Marketing has a magical quality to it – an ability to make two remarkably similar products seem worlds apart. One cookie conjures up images of a lovable grandma in an embroidered apron, rising long before the sun to bake sweets from scratch. The other suggests factory presses and cheap chocolate.

There are certain items I pledge my brand allegiance to. For other products, the generic version is suitable, especially if the price is right. Next to cost and product composition, marketing plays a large but obscured role in consumer decisions. Why else would so many people choose the costlier brand name over a generic substitute when the two are nearly identical?

I think it is often a case of mind over matter. That is not to say consumers sit back hypnotically as advertisers charm them with snappy slogans, pulling persuasive rabbits out of hats. But I’ve got to give them credit. Through stories, testimonials, and unique messaging, they help transform brands – essentially, everyday products – into anything but everyday. The Pillsbury Dough Boy represents homestyle comfort, not crescent rolls. Subway has turned deli sandwiches into diet pills. Nike doesn’t sell shoes. It sells oomph.

A couple of summers ago, every ice cream truck I saw roaming the streets of New York was labeled Mister Softee. This year, there is a new truck in town, and he goes by the name of Captain Softee. I’ve yet to determine if the Captain is a four-wheeled imitator or if he’s the real deal, sprinkles and all. A taste test is in the works...

Call Me Old-Fashioned

2007-06-04T22:46:00.000-04:00

"All God's children got rhythm. All God's children got swing." Or so they sing in "A Day at the Races," a full of laughter Marx Bros. gem.

I fancy old movies, old photos, old tunes, and old fashions. I think one of you once accused me of secretly being 80 years old? It was just after I talked you into recording a Mr. Ed marathon for me while I was on holiday. Sure, you might say I am fond of pop culture relics.

This Marx Bros. film is just comedy at its best. Silent films are for yesteryear, but I’m here today to shout about them from the rooftops. Gone are the days of Harpo Marx (my favorite of the brothers), only to have been replaced with plenty of junky flicks. Gimme a break! I miss the days of Nell Carter.

Those milk bottles they used to leave on doorsteps…That would have been swell. Listen to Three Dog Night’s "Old Fashioned Love Song." Lovely tune. And another thing, old camera film produced photos on such thick paper. Sure, you had that flash bulb popping overhead, but the paper was nice.

I also like the past because (now) I can afford it. My pocketbook can’t cover all the fun "here and now" gadgets that I secretly desire. New computers, newer digital cameras…I can't keep up. I may be the only living girl in New York without an iPod. I'm considering painting my headphones white.

The other day, I spotted an old electric can opener in the trash bin. This machine was twice the size of a teacup poodle. Forget about bringing that back. But the old movies are spectacular. Popcorn goes really well with Duck Soup. You'll get that joke if you too are old(-fashioned).

May: (The Month Following) National Poetry Month

2007-05-18T18:16:00.000-04:00

April was National Poetry Month, making this article yesterday’s (or last month’s) news. But in that “glass is half full” sort of way, let’s imagine I’m getting a jumpstart on next April’s rhyming fun.

Poetry month…For me, it conjures up A-B-A-B rhyming patterns, Emily Dickinson, and the ever-enjoyable Haiku. What is a Haiku, you ask? It’s a form of Japanese poetry in three unrhymed lines of five, seven and five "syllables." The syllables are a loose translation of morae, the phonetic units used in Japanese poetry.

I briefly considered writing this piece entirely in the form of Haiku. Bad idea. As Haikus often describe nature, the weather forecast might look something like this:

Sunshine
Happy on my shoulders,
Mother Nature sprinkles love.
Bust out your flip-flops.

Clouds
Cumulonimbus,
I don’t get it, weatherman.
Do I need rain boots?

Snow
Brrr baby, it’s cold,
Jack Frost dances in the sky.
Must make hot cocoa.

Meteorologist
Warm fronts and cold fronts,
What the hell is a Doppler?
Local forecast, please.

Global Warming/The End
Poetry is fun,
Always, not just in April.
But we need ice caps.

My Nemesis, The Elm Tree

2007-04-21T22:54:00.000-04:00

“Tree pollen, get your fresh tree pollen! Blowing steadily in from the west, it’s sure to be plentiful this year. Guaranteed to give you runny noses and itchy eyes. But wait, there’s more – Some of you lucky folks will even get sinus headaches and eczema!”

Blossoming trees, blooming flowers, and birds chirping. The telltale signs of spring are here. Yet sneaking up alongside the warmer temperatures and greener grass is a sinister character known as tree pollen. And let me tell you, this invisible monster is tricky.

I read a Times article the other day that centered on this surprising truth: allergies – frequently thought of as a childhood affliction – can spring up at any point in a person’s life. How awfully strange that you could one day hop out of bed, settle down to a crossword puzzle, a cup of coffee, and a pecan roll, and suddenly find yourself allergic to those very pecans on that very roll!

According to the Times article, a number of factors can trigger allergies, such as moving to a new city or getting a pet. Yet the interesting bit is that allergies in adults have steadily increased over the past few decades. I for one am extremely allergic to trees…the Elm is the worst of them all. But it wasn’t until the past couple of years that my allergies became incredibly obnoxious.

While there is something to be said for a genetic predisposition to allergies, a relatively new theory blames improved living conditions. To explain, let’s take a look at two fictional characters: eight-year-old Jack and his 80-year-old grandpa, Quinley (cue the irony, stage left):

A. Compared to grandpa Quinley, Jack has grown up in a world of vaccinations, antibiotics, and cleaner food and water. In other words, he has had far fewer environmental challenges.
B. Without such challenges, Jack’s immune system has not developed in a balanced way.
C. Jack is now predisposed to allergies, and unlike grandpa Quinley, he may be hypersensitive to allergic reactions. And you can bet grandpa Quinley never had to use antihistamines.

Another school of thought is that increased air pollution as well as indoor air contaminates have led to a rise in allergies (and in Kleenex sales, one might presume).

Whatever the reason for their existence, allergies can have a miserable affect on quality of life, not to mention they can increase the risk of developing asthma. But there are ways to combat (or avoid) the elements. Can we get a PSA campaign in the works here? “Kleenex is for lovers”…“Fight green trees with green tea”…etc. After all, how can we expect Smokey Bear to fight forest fires when he’s busy fighting the sniffles? I want to live with the trees, not hide from them.

God Advertises Beyond Billboard

2006-12-07T19:58:00.000-05:00

I love those billboards that quote God. They appear more often in the South, just like Waffle House signs. While on a road trip to Florida, God spoke to me from above – on a 30-sheet billboard, to be exact. Since then I’ve kept a list of his wise words and also started drafting new ones with some friends (Jason, Emily - bless you). Below are the words of God. Keep an eye out when on the road. And remember, buckle up!

“Have you read my #1 bestseller? There will be a test.”
“Hamburger for dinner on Friday? Have fun in hell.”
“When I call you up, it won’t be on the telephone.”
“Your crazy ex-girlfriend isn’t the only one watching your every move.”
“We need to talk.”
“You know that ‘love thy neighbor’ thing? I meant it.”
“Here Easter bunny, bunny, bunny…Remember when Easter was about ME?!!”
“Follow me.”
“Pontius Pilot never flew an airplane.”
“Where else is bread and wine on the house every day?”
“Knock, knock.” (Who’s there?) “Hallow.” (Hello who?) “Hallow be my name.”
“I can make a blind man see. Can you?”
"Turn here for guidance."
(Achoo!) “Bless Me.”
“I’ll be back.”_- Arnold Schwarzenegger – God
“The real Supreme Court meets up here.”

Icy Fashionistas

2006-11-16T15:09:00.000-05:00

I love how footless tights are so in right now. Seriously. Rarely do I jump aboard trendy bandwagons, but for this one I'm on the edge of the road with my thumb in the air, ready to hop on.

The thing is though...figure skaters have been wearing footless tights for years. They're called Mondors, my friends! And I've got them a plenty. Black, navy, nude - you name it.

For once, it seems the world of figure skating is ahead of (or even in the same time zone) as the fashion world. I hope to God this doesn't mean that feathered and sequined costumes are next. Remember that Oksana Bauil pink bird number? She wore it well, but that only belongs on the ice. Or in Vegas.

Trick or Treat. Or Meat.

2006-10-30T19:32:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween. I’ll trade you my Twix for your Tootsie Rolls. Deal? Diets have no place near trick-or-treat bags. That includes fad diets, which I guess are an oxymoron. If the diet really worked, it wouldn’t disappear after a few years.

I thought Atkins was for the birds, but I stand corrected. Apparently it’s for the cats. As I was reading the A.M. Metro on the train, I came across this report:

“A Scottish cat named Fidget used to tip the scales at 22 pounds. But the feline’s owner put him on a meat-rich diet, and Fidget’s been shedding the weight ever since. Fidget’s owner made the change – an Atkins Diet for cats – when the 18-year-old cat could no longer crunch dry biscuits. Fidget now weighs a respectable 11 pounds.”

This whole situation is much too, oh I don't know, anthropomorphic. My crystal ball says Fidget won’t last through the holiday season. Why?

A. He’s 18, which I think is like 1,254 in human years.
B. Like I said, the poor feline is old. His teeth might as well be peanut brittle. So he's given a diet based on human habits? While you’re at it, give this cat some dentures. I suggest Poli-grip. That way he can tear into that ribeye without embarrassment or fear.
C. His diet consists largely of meat. Have you had his LDL cholesterol checked lately?
D. His name is Fidget. Studies show that cats with wonky names are less likely to live past 18 than those named “Mungo Jerry,” “Grizabella” or “Felix.”

The Gap in Advertising

2006-09-23T23:26:00.000-04:00

Easy does it, social scientists. This isn’t about the gap in advertising, but rather The Gap in advertising, as in the retail chain that totes jeans, jackets, flip-flops and more. From my point of view, its brand image is struggling something fierce.

The Gap is in the midst of an identity crisis not seen since…well, since a month ago when Chicago’s flagship Marshall Field’s store officially became Macy’s. A moment of silence, please.

Thank you. Back to The Gap. Several years ago, the company was the leader of the pack in terms of creative, fashionable television ads. You may recall the highly entertaining ads featuring mini-musicals that launched in the late nineties. Dancers stretched across the screen rallying around the tagline “Everybody in Khaki” for example.

The company did and still does handle its advertising internally. But over time, those Bob Fosse-ish gems have been replaced with a chameleon-like mixture of marketing messages. And jazz hands are nowhere to be found.

Throughout spring and summer, Gap chanted color, color everywhere! I remember spotting a psychedelic Gap bus parked along the beach in Santa Monica. Cheerful Gap promoters handed out bright key chains and sold t-shirts in every color of the rainbow.

That strategy lasted all of six months. Maybe. You wouldn’t expect it to be wildly successful in NYC, where black rules the streets. But apparently the rest of the country wasn’t too quick to jump on the colorful bandwagon either.

The latest effort is all about the Skinny Black Pant. Cue Audrey Hepburn, stage left. The Gap clipped a scene from the delightful classic “Funny Face” and laid it over a rock-n-roll track. I love advertising, but it bothers me that they did this (even though the late Hepburn’s son consented to it). Some things are better left untouched. Frank Sinatra should not sell vacuums at all, much less posthumously. End of story.

Other Gap ads feature celebs or models sporting skinny black pants in an array of styles. It leaves me a little confused. Are they going for mod chic or grunge rock? Or old-school Michael Jackson (sans sparkly glove)? Maybe all of the above.

I’m predicting this campaign will help their sales – in New York, anyway. But the bottom line remains, The Gap needs to fill in the gaps in its splintering image. Because its current tagline could very well be “Everybody in Disarray.”

Ambush Marketing: You Say Guerilla, I Say Gorilla

2006-08-22T20:17:00.001-04:00

The World Cup is all the rage all over the world, except here in Uncle Sam's backyard. With games full of non-stop action and warlike strategy, it's routine to see athletes soaring across the field full of sweat, passion and pain - and plenty of exaggerated pain as well. I fear Dennis Rodman missed his true calling.

Apparently the clashes rage not only on the field, but also in the corner corporate offices. The mega-media attention surrounding the World Cup means big bucks for sponsors and advertisers. And instead of dishing out red cards, they're taking away orange pants.

According to BBC News, "Up to 1,000 Dutch fans watched their side play Ivory Coast in their underpants on Friday after they were denied entry to Stuttgart's stadium for wearing orange trousers with the name of a Dutch brewery which was not an official sponsor. Faced with missing the game or ditching their orange lederhosen - given away by the brewery - they made the obvious choice. FIFA officials said the trousers were an attempt at so-called ambush marketing - where a company tries to gain free publicity - and that they had to act to protect the interests of sponsors."

The orange pants, apparently in the form of lederhosen, were part of a marketing plan developed by Bavaria NH, a (clever) Dutch brewery. Attached to the pants was a special lion's tail, the lion being the national emblem of the Netherlands. But with Anheuser Busch as one of the 15 official partners at the World Cup, FIFA frowned upon the tactic.

While this form of guerilla marketing left a few folks in the stands looking like gorillas, the fully-clothed fans far outnumbered them. An amusing tale! The incident is indicative of the growing trend of companies "owning" major events through sponsorships. And the fine print is becoming increasingly complex.

I love the creativity behind ambush marketing, especially in this event. They got solid press coverage in an inventive manner. But to be fair, FIFA is only right to play watchdog in order to protect its corporate partnerships. I don't think people mind seeing blanket advertising for Bud Light or Adidas at events like these, but when the sponsorships impose restrictions on what fans can wear, eat or drink, then one can only presume the lion will roar.

Zippity Do Dah (A Product Review!)

2006-07-10T14:21:00.000-04:00

Another Fourth of July has come and gone. Booming fireworks have vanished only to leave a starry loneliness to the night sky. The remnants of Uncle Sam’s heyday – smoldering coals, patriotic balloons, and firecracker wrappers – are slowly fading away like a hopscotch game drawn in chalk.

Independence Day isn’t complete without a barbecue, and this year was no exception. It even welcomed an addition to the ever-expanding world of cooking utensils. Next to knives, tongs, whisks, basting brushes and spatulas, now sits the Corn Zipper.

This handy stainless steel apparatus slices corn kernels off the cob without the danger and imprecision offered by more common cutlery. It’s a perfect gadget for those who hate biting into corn on the cob. Though sadly, it leaves one wondering what to do with those little plastic yellow picks designed for (and modeled after) corn that has not been de-cobbed.

The Corn Zipper made its debut at the backyard bash my brother and I hosted the weekend of the Fourth. We had no trial runs before the party. After all, if the Zipper couldn’t stand the heat, it had no place in the kitchen. We purchased a dozen ears of corn and fired up the grill. Somewhere between husking the corn and sprinkling the salt, the Zipper went from conversation piece to culinary superstar. The commonplace grilling tools, scarred and shabby due to years of use, could do nothing but look on in envy of this shiny new toy.

But did it work? I’m pleased to say it stayed true to its claim, clipping kernels neatly onto a plate without slipping or cutting into the cob. It took a few tries to get the technique just right, but before long I was gladly zipping samples for all attendees to relish. My one complaint was that it takes off only one row (or column?) of kernels at a time. Had my party been any larger, carpal tunnel might have set in.

All in all, I give this product two thumbs up. For those who like to eat their corn daintily, please welcome the Corn Zipper. God bless America.

The Famous Chocolatier Is Back

2005-07-24T23:51:00.000-04:00

In Charlie’s Chocolate Factory, pink lamb fluff becomes cotton candy. What a wonderful factory it is.

Some things are just meant to go together: Steak and potatoes. Oreos and milk. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. I had been anxiously anticipating “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” since I first heard that Burton was remaking Roald Dahl's classic. And the mouthwatering wait was worth it.

First things first - I adore Gene Wilder and think his performance as Willy was charming and delightful. It surprises me that the first Wonka movie flopped at the box office. But Mel Brooks' The Producers flopped too, and I consider Wilder's role in that movie one of the greatest comedic performances ever.

While Depp’s take on Wonka is enchanting in its own way, his approach is creepier, right down to the purple latex gloves. The draping coat and heeled boots may make one think he is the confectioner formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince. He walks a bittersweet line between naughty and nice. A touch less extreme than the Grinch who stole Christmas, his iciness eventually melts like M&M's in your mouth (and not in your hand*). Looking at the two Wonkas is a bit apples-to-oranges, and I'm not one for snarky Hollywood comparisons. Both Wonkas are fabulous.

Gene Wilder may always win my vote, but I think the second movie is better. It has been given plenty of mediocre reviews. I give it two thumbs up. Wonka is dark, like my favorite chocolate. Charlie Bucket is so innocent and sweet, and his grandpa Joe is perhaps the most adorable old man in the world.** The set is eye candy (tee hee) in a way only Tim Burton could conjure up. And oh how those Oompa Loompas can bust out a song and dance number.

My two cents: This movie is highly entertaining. Go to the candy store, buy some chocolate treats, and get your (golden) ticket today.

*Actually, summers in the City are more humid than Loompa Land. Eat M&M's in this town, and I guarantee your hand will be more colorful than a Kandinsky painting.

**With the exception of my grandpa Woodrow L. Berta.

The Fine Art of Barefoot Running

2005-07-14T19:29:00.000-04:00

Runners of the world, slow down and read me. Does your achilles' tendon ache? Do your heels hurt? What about your knee? Maybe just your knee cap? I recently read a Times article about running that got my mind racing. The best part was the opening paragraph:

"UNTIL he met a reclusive tribe of near-mythical athletes at the bottom of a Mexican canyon, Micah True could never figure out why his running injuries got worse as his running shoes got better. Then, the Tarahumara Indians taught him a lesson that even Nike is now starting to embrace: the best shoe may be no shoe at all." (The New York Times "Kick Off Your Shoes and Run Awhile," Christopher McDougall - June 23, 2005)

The article asked why - with all the technological advancements in running shoes over the past 30 years - have we not seen a decrease in running injuries? In a nutshell, the argument is that fancy shmancy sneakers have made our feet lazy. Legs absorb shock better than heels do, and the mega cushioning in running shoes tend to restrict the movement of our feet, sometimes putting unneeded weight on our heels. Barefoot runners, on the other hand, have much stronger, more flexible feet, and pressure is distributed more evenly when running.

The proof is in the pudding. In this case, the pudding is of the rubber tire variety (I prefer tapioca). Mr. True, who I referenced in the opening paragraph, had been plagued by injuries while training for ultramarathons. On one of his ridiculously long races, he met some swift runners from Mexico, who frequently placed in the top rankings. These speedsters wore homemade huaraches made from strips of old tires. Their feet? Injury free and fast as hell. They taught him to "run lightly on the front of his foot instead of heavily on his heel. " And it worked.

I may revert back to wearing my sprinting shoes whenever I run. They're ultra flexible and have far less cushioning than my cross-training shoes. If you don't have sprinting shoes, I suggest you do the next best thing: Chop up an old tire and strap it onto your feet. Three, two, one...go!

McDonald's Revisited

2005-06-28T15:34:00.000-04:00

Dear Ronald,

I realize my previous posting (see Fruit Buzzard) was a bit harsh. I guess my humble little point is that fast food should be fast (i.e., it shouldn't require assembly). While your plastic bags and containers assure fresh fruit and creamy yogurt, why can't the employees assemble the buzz upon order?

But enough ranting. Truth be told, every once in a great, great, great while, I enjoy McDonald's French fries. I'd like to commend Micky D's for serving some actual health food. But wait…the Fruit Buzz has more calories and more grams of fat than a McDonald's hamburger. Huh? Regardless, not many are going to choose a Fruit Buzz over a super-sized meal. But props to you for taking a step in curbing the fatty epidemic that plagues our nation.

Why are so many research dollars being poured into this larger than life problem? It's called eat in moderation, and don't sit on your ass all day long! Bring healthier foods and nutrition education into the classroom, and make healthier food more affordable and more available in impoverished areas. Oh, and more vegetables. You can always eat more vegetables. Sweet potatoes are unbelievably healthy, for instance.

As for those clowns who sue McDonald's for their obesity problems, don't even get me started. Who on God's green earth would not realize that a few hundred quarter pounders with cheese wouldn't lead to clogged arteries? I think those folks should be given fifty lashes from Grimace, and not a lash less. Anyway, Ronald, do send my regards to the Hamburglar. Stripes are in.

Yours truly,
Jessica

McDonald's Fruit Buzzard

2005-06-15T22:02:00.000-04:00

You take some grapes, slice a few apples, throw in some yogurt and a sprinkling of walnuts. Sounds like a nutritious recipe for success, right? Try again. I’m talking about the new McDonald’s Fruit Buzz. Catchy name, sure. But I think the shiny-shoed folks in corporate threw away too many pennies on marketing a flawed product. And I'm not talking bruised apples.

I opened up Vanity Fair to find a bright, four-page foldout ad for this much hyped Fruit Buzz. And then, miracle of miracles, I came across a coupon for a free Buzz. Thought I'd give it a whirl...

I'm hardly lovin' it. Why? For starters, the Buzz requires assembly. The apples and grapes are in one container. The walnuts are in a plastic bag. The yogurt is in yet another container. Am I at a Tupperware party? The apples are nestled in that stage where they're a bit too large to eat in a single bite but are a pain to cut into smaller pieces. And the amount of yogurt is stingy-sized. The overall concoction is too sweet for my taste.

I’m afraid Ronald may have to go back to the drawing board on this one. Until then, I'll continue to make my own yogurt parfaits.

Sweet Jamba and a Rickshaw Ride Gone Sour

2005-05-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

I have passed by many Jamba Juice stands. I have seen the long lines. I have heard rave reviews about how delicious this place is. You say "tasty," I say "overpriced juice shakes full of sugar." But recently, I joined a colleague on a jaunt to the Jamba hut on 42nd near Bryant Park. I immediately felt like I was in a carrot juice version of a Broadway show. The staff was singing "Welcome to Jamba Juice" as if they were up for a Tony.

Right, so I placed my order (I got something like a Citrus Breeze), and the cashier asked me if I wanted a free energy boost. Free? Yes, please. After asking what these boosts were all about, I got a 15-second crackspeed rundown of maybe five different energy options. I chose the immunity. Holy hell, after downing that drink, I was bouncing off the walls at work. Whatever was in it, I wanted more - and fast. I rarely drink caffeine and probably should have thought about that before agreeing so readily to the boost. The first one is always free, right?

But this got me thinking...is Jamba Juice full of addictive (over-the-counter) drugs? The employee morale couldn't be explained by good pay or solid benefits alone. Nay, nay. Something more powerful was at work. After calling up Jamba, I learned that each worker receives a free "meal" per shift. Um...free meal as in a speedy fruit smoothie? I also found out that the number of ingredients in an immunity shot is longer than the menu at Shopsin’s. We had a Jamba employee on speakerphone in the office for a good 10 minutes. I’ve got to investigate this further...

In other news, my mom and I decided to take a pedicab for a 20-block ride from the theatre to a restaurant on 63rd and Broadway this weekend. After 10 blocks, the driver was huffing and puffing. Did she need a Jamba boost? We were passed by two pedicabs (with passengers) and numerous cars. Then one of the lights on the back of our pedicab fell off, only to be crushed under the tire of a town car. Unlucky! But funny. Shortly after that, the front wheel began to give out. Our ride ended two blocks short, and we were charged $20. Um...rip off?